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+ smell of rain, old fashioned cars, garage sales, winter nights, triangular shaped clocks, scary movies, laughter, big cities, polaroids, background music, Donnie Darko, saturday morning cartoons, eating, sleeping, awkward silences, black&white pictures, charmander, apple cider, nintendo 64, stars, calvin and hobbes

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14 April 09

Just Think.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the end of the world. It’s hard not to considering all the hype about 12/21/12. And I’m not going to lie. It scares me more than anything I’ve ever been scared of. Can you even imagine the end of the world? Just imagine it. And if you believe you’ll go to heaven when it happens, imagine heaven. Being there forever. That’s way too long for me. I can barely even comprehend that word, forever. Being in heaven forever and ever, eternity. I almost feel like it’s not fair if the world ended. That God would end my life when I’m about to graduate, when I’m about to start my life and complete my goals. Why couldn’t he wait a little longer? But still the world is going to end one day and the future generation wouldn’t be able to finish their life either to the fullest. I tell myself I don’t believe any of this talk but deep down I’m still scared shitless. I believe in God of course but I can’t help it. I haven’t thought about this in a while, it just all came up when me and jane and becca started talking about it really seriously. I tell myself it couldn’t happen with all the proof and everything but still. Even the chance scares me. I’ve always had the weirdest feeling that I wouldn’t live long. That i wasn’t ment to live long. That I was ment to die young. I don’t know if that’s just my fear talking or if it’s true. I’m usually wrong about gut feelings and my fear just takes over but you never know. But I guess it really doesn’t matter if it happens or not. All I can do is live my life for God and to the fullest. And if it does happen, it’ll happen and I’ll go to heaven. And if it doesn’t I’ll die eventually and finish up my life. I really can’t wait for summer. My body’s itching to get out of this jail and be free. For some reason I forgot everything I did last summer. But I’m starting to remember. And it was good. The three weeks at Italy. Sitting out on the grass with everyone and watching the sunset and talking. Wow, I miss it more than ever. Two months! Wow, it sounds farther away when I think about it. I want to watch Peter Pan. I haven’t seen it in a while. I miss it. I miss Peter. hahaha

Themed by Hunson. Originally by Josh